oh well,
i always knew i shouldn't watch ghost of ex girlfriend's past.

lesson learnt.
if you've found the one, never let her go...

we all learn from experiences don't we?
i'll be better nxt time.

i'm utterly proud of myself.
its 353am, and i finally got down to creating my website for freelance vocal keyboard coaching.

friends reading, do help spread the word around!
www.jkmusiclessons.blogspot.com

I've come to realise something during the past few months.

It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.

don't ask me why..
though i realise that being single for a longer than usual period of time has taught me a lot...
and somehow now, i don't exactly believe or want to fall in love.

---------

went to PJC today to sign my paycheck for college day.
and i' m waitin for pioneer sec's SYF paycheck to enter my account as well.
otherwise, i'm just living on savings now, and its depleting really quickly.

i hate bumming around,
but i guess i'll probably hate work as much if i do get a job..
so meanwhile i'll just stick to my daily routine of squash, football manager, and TV.

i'm a strong believer of how a guy should not neglect his guy friends coz of girls.
and i think its awfully turn off-ish if someone does that.

same goes for girls who neglect their girl friends coz of their boyfriend.
or friends in general.

like hello.
:S

i've been playing a lot of squash lately, so much so that my right arm's muscles (if i even have any) is slightly swollen... its hard to swing without feeling a slight tweak at the back...

last few days have been really crazy.

i revamped my room again

bought MORE new furniture from ikea, changed my entire bedroom to a FULL ENTERTAINMENT RM (without the bed)

and i transferred the bed to the other smaller room.

Trying to learn how to use m-audio profire to record my songs.

its a brand new interface with sonar 8 producer edition, and i've got to get used to all the new functions...

hopefully i will be able to grasp recording techniques within the next one week, then i can seriously get down to writing my new songs and arranging the music.

i've totally stopped teaching music for the past week due to my hectic schedule.

pioneer sec choir is having their holidays, so i'm basically slacking my time away.

met up with my new arts camp OG...

wonderful people i may say...

as slack as me, and fun to hang out with!

i'm beginning to think i should get a job to earn more money (While teaching music)

everyone around me is working except me.

i think i'll miss pj choir.
and i only spent a few days there...!

makes me think back on all the cranky times when i was still studying last time.
all the staying back in school late, etc.

and now that i'm in university, i can't wait but go home as early as i can everyday...

i think i've changed.
i used to be wild and happening, and i'm always busy.
now i'm just.... homely.
like i've grown out of goin out wiv lots of different people and going crazy...

i haven't done a lot of things i said i'll do during the holidays.
and is it me?
or is the weather killing me every single day?
i practically take six showers a day... and i still end up feelin sticky after less than 30 mins out of the shower... :S

hectic week.
but despite the crazy numerous amount of things i've been involved in during the past wk..
i still feel some sort of an emptiness..

yes, i've met up with old friends.
i've been doin music, building up my portfolio, choreographing pj's finale.. making new friends and finding new fun with pj choir members...
spending more time wiv my mum and cousins
sms-ing and going online more often to catch up with mdc friends, etc.
but no..
there's sth missing and i can't figure out whats that...

so much on my mind suddenly.
doesn't help with the frequent dizzy spells i've been having.
and my constant procrastination to see a neurologist.

went to suntec for the first time in a long time today///

the walk at the basement brought back memories. memories of like... ten?!? years ago..
how i dedicated a message to dixie when we first got together in secondary school...

yes yes. i know what u must be thinking.
but no, i'm not goin to get into one of my emo spells again.

on a side note... i can't wait to test out my new recording rig...
its expensive
but i hope its worth the money.

i'm selling my recording PC cause i'm goin to buy a new recording system!

the PC i'm selling includes:
core 2 duo processor
emu 1820 soundcard (worth over 800 bucks)

it can record cd quaity music, with midi plugins, mic plug ins, etc.

selling at only $500! :)

--

meanwhile.. i cant wait to get my new system... :)

all the way from france...

i logged on my email today to read a letter written by a girl from france...
she heard "don't do it again", the song i wrote, on youtube and felt very touched and connected to it...

once in a while, its good to hear people tell u that they appreciate the music you are doing...
cause once in a while, i stop, and look in the mirror and ask myself.. "what am i doing.. why am i writing so much, singing so much etc"

that mail made my day
thanks elise :)
hope you find the right one soon enough :)

i have given away my last one, almost two years to somebody who never ever loved me back.
now it feels awfully weird entertaining the thought of me liking someone else other than her.

but like i was telling kim... its time we all move on...

then comes the problem.
i don't know how it feels to like someone.
and even if i do, i don't know what to be thinking, or what to do and say....

how do you know if she's the right one?
and if you are not sure...
do you just watch her fall for someone else? or do u tell her u think u may be attracted to her?

its at this time when i realize how complicated love is...

my ideal girl...
plays an instrument,
sings,
is sweet,
and well mannered and lovable...

but even when an ideal one comes along...
how do you know if u're attracted to her bcoz of her "ideal attributes"
or beacuse u genuinely want to spend more time knowing her?

okay john.
its 340am.
u're probably just blabbering

step 1 to letting go of the past: paint my room.
step 2: time to put all the photos aside.

and what if i think i've found the girl of my dreams?

step 1:..... feel lost...
step 2:..... feel confused....
step 3:.....just not do anything.

is there a right..and a wrong way to doing things?
or is it just an inner voice inside me saying "john. u've made so mani mistakes. this might just be another one of your mistakes"

i think i'm secretly afraid inside..

Fun-filled, enriching music lessons: My Portfolio

Fun-filled, enriching music lessons: My Portfolio

ahh.. supposed to be out at timbre with the guys now...
but i'm really really sleepy...
and i had so much to settle at challenger just now about my desktop...

and its weird...
but i'm online for a reason :S

counting down; crossing my fingers

one more paper to go...
then the dreaded awaiting of results...

i'm feeling so much worse off than previous semesters...
and i've got so much to worry after my exams...

i hope my head's fine after the scan..

things to do after the exams:

1. start jogging/squash/soccer...
2. wii/guitar hero sessions with friends...
3. winning 11 sessions with the guys..
4.buy a new desktop...
5. go for LASIK...
6. visit Rocher more often...
7. repair ventilation fan for my laptop...
8. paint my room...
9. continue furnishing my room...
10. do up my music website
11. record lots of new songs and videos
12. find gigs to perform in...
13. get a job...
14. find a new drama serial to be addicted to
15. weekly sunday soccer
16. research for music colleges to go to after graduation...
17. find interesting choir songs for pss choir
18. coordinate finale for pjc's anniversary finale
19. full body medical checkup..
20. diagnose whats wrong with my head...

things may not turn out the way i want them to be.... but i'm happy...

i have learnt that dreams will never become reality...
that is a long known fact...

i dreamt of a girl yesterday.
i've known her secondary school.
it wasn't the first time.
and i know it wouldn't be the last...

but when i wake up, sit up and think..
i'm just glad she's happy...
i'm glad she's doing great...

thanks for the two replies that night when i was about to break down from studying e-learning...
your messages calmed me down a lot...

The Swine Flu is dangerous because it spreads in densely populated areas...
places like movie theatres are rather high risk places to go to...

which reminds me...
exam halls are also dangerous
all remaining papers should be cancelled and students should be graded based on whatever they have done throughout the semester.

help fight swine...

the world is ending.

everyones talking about it.
but here's another reason that i have to show that all this is predestined.

in marketing,
generation X = our parents
generation Y = us
genereation Z =our children

and Z is the last alphabet..
there it goes.... :
22/09/2012 - solar storm prediction. lost of lifes lost.
before this date, major diseases will strike (swine flu)
its all coming into place isn't it?

i don't want to die yet :

one day i'll perform,
and everybody around will just stop and listen to me :)

(i should be studying....)

randoms at 3am.

i don't regret not studying for the manchester united game.
superb fightback,
i was celebrating in my room MYSELF when they came back from 2-0 down to lead 3-2...
the curtains, were fortunately, down.
otherwise my neighbours would have probably thought i was nuts.or

studied onli 3 hours today
2 hours yesterday
and ZERO hours on friday (cause i was in my friday-slack mood)..

caught s-factor on youtube
and the girls were seriously.. bimbotic. and bitchy..
they should just call it B-factor or something.
since its about like boobs, bimbos, bitches... :S

as i grow older... i have come to gradually realise that...
girls are the most beautiful when they are nice on the inside.
its not about how u look on the outside..
whatever outside is just an additional bonus.

which reminds me of how i first felt when i saw this girl in arts camp...
and how i'm beginning to talk to her quite often now.
so much so that i'm sacrificing my sleep. sth i've never been doin before.
she gives off this ...
niceness on the inside.
but yet i cant describe how it exactly is like coz i havent exactly talked to her in person.
HAHA.
lame la john.

3 days to my first paper.
i'm already counting down to the last one.

the past weeks have been spent telling myself to let go of past memories...
the perfect girl stood before me once.
and she's in the arms of another...

but thats not exactly my loss...
its her gain..
cause i don't ever remember being a good partner to anyone....

channel your energy to do something else john.
i'm trying to study.
and all of a sudden.. i can't wait to get my university degree, and pursue my musical journey..

the words i heard at victoria concert hall just keeps ringing in my ear...
and i would be lying if i said i wasn't disappointed...

i don't remember ever wanting something so badly,

the wait for results was ten times worse than waitin for the results of all the competitions i've joined in my life.
but whatever it is...

i'm proud to let everybody know that i'm pioneer's choir conductor...

and two years down the road,
we will get an award...

to my choir:
remember this... one for all, all for one... you guys are a platinum choir to me, and i would never exchange any of you guys, for any gold choir out there...

thank you for making my tuesday, wednesday and friday afternoons so enjoyable...

i can't say this enough, but be proud of yourself.

because i'm extremely proud of every single one of you...