dear x,
it has been 2years and 1 month since i started missing you and realising that you're the one i want to spend the rest of my life with.
its been 2 days since i found out that you are most probably with another guy

i don't blame you because in the first place i didnt do much to let u know how much i want u in my life.

but it aches so much now finding out that the girl i love, is in the arms of another guy...

i know i don't deserve you, which is probably why i never dared to go all out to let u know my feelings.

but deep inside i love you so much...
so so much.

this is the part in movies where the male lead will go "i'm happy as long as u're happy, even if i'm not the one to make u happy".

but for once, i don't want to lead that kind of movie-like life.

i'm not happy. because i'm not the one by ur side to make u happy, and because i know that if given a chance, i can do so much more to make u smile.

i'll do more than just queue 2 hours for your favourite doughnut factory doughnut..
i'll do so much more than buying you breakfast in the morning, or practising in front of the mirror on how to say hi to ur mum and dad in order to give them the bestest impresion.
i'll do more than surprising you with flowers for no reason.
i'll do so much more than just lie to u that i have work so that i have an excuse to fetch u from ur workplace.
i'll do things that i'll never think of doing, i'll do more than tell my schoolkids when i relief teach that the girl on my laptop's wallpaper is the one i want to marry.
i'll not only scribble ur name on my paper, and doodle sweet msgs to u during lessons...
i'll write songs with you on my mind, but not only that, every song i churn out during any period of time would have something to do with you.

because its true, love makes us do crazy things.

having said so much,
dear x,
i'll still love you,
like i've been doin so for the past 2 years...

and even if i have to imagine and accept that u're in the arms of another guy,
i'll do so.

call me stupid.
but i still hope that one day you'll read this, and feel how i'm feeling..
and then we'll lead a happy life together... just me and you, your parents, my parents, and maybe our children.
i'll give you everything.