i'm beginning to be random
but don't you think self centred girls are such a turn off?

like "omg... the whole world is looking at me.... i love the attention" types..

urghs...

i seriously hate my slipped disc. its preventing me from sleeping, and its depriving me from my favourite sports like squash or soccer...
and it sometimes hurt to even wear my pants.

geez.
more painkillers and i'm probably going to die of liver failure before 60.

we all make wrong choices don't we?

i'm sorry if i did anything to hurt anyone.

i don't want to be thinking about all these... but i am....

when we went groceries shopping at imm...

or eating at marina's swensens...

i was just browsing through my picture folder... when i found these photos...

i love these photos because of how natural it is, and because it was you who took them...

it has been a long time since i smiled like that...

only you can make me smile so genuinely, and you're the only one i will pose for but yet act like i'm not posing when you take a photo of me...

i actually found out there was an ELDDS gathering today..
like woah
RVELDDS u know!!
and there were like juniors i don't even know going....

i actually attmpted to write a song today!

here are the lyrics... :) draft zero...
it would be great if someone could help me improve on it... :D

a long, tedious journey
a frightful road
gone through pain and agony
felt the lonesome cold

a room full of memories
with a broken clock
but time’s still moving so quickly
can we stop to take a walk?

I’ve dreamt of you
A hundred times before
And I still think of you
I still imagine you’re next to me

Chorus:
And i don't wanna fall for you
but i can't control
I can't play it cool
i'll rather you would lie to me
so i can believe
that love was meant for you and me

and i don't wanna fall for you
don't wanna face the truth
that you’re not meant for me
I want to give the world to you
You’ll give it back to me
and leave me in the cold

so I’m trying to un-fall for you.
but I can’t stay away…

was just browsing through when i saw this photo...

i miss communicating with the kids when i was relief teaching...

maybe this is what i'll be like if i decide to be a teacher next time :)

and it brings back memories of when i was in secondary school..

so carefree.. with nothing to worry about...

don't we all hate growing up? :

ice cream therapy...

thanks to celeste i got to get out of my depressing emo mood...

headed down to icecube for ice cream at 11pm...before attempting to study at westmall mac's for like just AN HOUR until she decided she cldn't take it anymore....
nonetheless, the company and listening ear did help make me feel better...
------
the economic downturn is not getting better...
with anticipated job losses of up to 90,000 by 2010, i'm not sure how graduates like me are going to look for jobs upon graduation...

thank gdness i have music and a love for teaching...
but what abt others who don't...

i'm in the midst of doing an "usher-like" "chris brown rihanna" kinda dance song...
tune and chords are up but i'm having real difficulty filling up lyrics...
any takers?

meanwhile... i suddenly have a new found enthusiasm in meeting my choir tomorrow...
practise at the foyer that day lifted up my spirits a little....
singing in the confined choir room with a pathetic keyboard is depressing...
the foyer and the piano is so much better...
maybe i shld request all choir practices converge to the common area...

i'm glad i'm feelin better...
cooping myself at home didnt really do much to help my troubled mind...

i still keep you in my thoughts all day do u know that?
and i find myself saying goodnight to you every night before i sleep...

You've always been in my prayers...

Lost in your eyes
Those beautiful eyes
Still stays inside my mind
And now that you’re gone
There’s nothing to hide
But words I left unsaid
I wrote you a note
That’s still on the shelf
I pray every night
And pray that you’re safe
So tell me
Where do I go from here..

Life's supposed to be great, is it?

four days of the holidays gone just like that...
and in these 4 days, i've spent 3 days at home just bumming around and playing my ps3...

i've been rather weird lately...
i haven't been feeling correct....
i'm not enjoying myself when i'm out.
and i'm not enjoying myself when i'm at home....

i'm not happy.
but i want to be happy...

I've never been more sure about myself...

so what if i'm in love with some girl who will never feel the same way as me?
so what if because of that i'm single and not intending to get attached?

at least i'm happy..
bcoz for once in my life... i know what i want...