i've recently come to realise that we become a lot more choosy and skeptical when making friends in university.
and that i have a very low threshhold for several type of people:
touchy guys.
bitchy girls.
backstabbers.
self centered people.
egoistic guys who think they look horribly good. (i meant the pun). or disgustingly strong and macho
social butterflies. (people who seem to treat u like frens, before realizing that they drift away before u can say hi)
and i guess thats why i've been keeping very much to myself lately.
i'm glad i have friends like huiqing charlotte jiayang elly chris huilin and celeste from university.
and that i've made new friends over the course of this semester like josheen jonchong.
and of course a few other names i may have missed out.
but other than that, i guess i've had my fair share of watching for myself how my tolerance level for certain kind of people is rather limited.
or how some people look nice on the outside, but harbours evil ill intentions on the inside.
which makes me all philosphical about things again, and life in general.
i've also come to realise how i get along with girls a lot better than guys.
anybody who has watched the recent movie on the best man would understand how it feels.
i have a bunch of guy friends from secondary school, and these friends are the only ones i would completely open up to. ryan, detong, michael, javin, james, marvin, eugene. and these are the only few guys i will probably invite to my wedding if i needed a best man.
sometimes i feel like i can count my true friends with two hands.
but then, it also could be because of a lack of effort on my part to maintain friendships with a lot of people.
like how i recently pangsehed peifeng for kbox with sabai shiwei vivian because i FORGOT that i told them one week ago i would join them for karaoke.
or how i will tell my frens we shld meet up for dinner, and when they say yes we should i just totally refuse to make the first move to actually arrange dinner.
ahhh.
and i choose to believe i'm not the only person who's facing such a problem.
i guess, if any of you are reading this,
u'll probably realise that at some point of time ur life's like that.
sometimes i see a familiar face in school,
and i think twice about whether i should say hi.
coz ultimately, that person's just an acquaintance, its not like i'll hang out with that person or anything in future.
but at other times i'll think "okay. john, be friendly. just smile and say hi. it wouldn't harm to be friendly would it?"
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and did i tell u that.
a recent chick flick i watched called beth cooper gave me insights and a realisation:
that i've forgotten how it feels to love someone,
and how it feels to be loved.
for long periods of my life i've jumped from r'ship to r'ship,
without ever savouring any beautiful parts of these memories...
and yes, the words 'i love you' seems rather rubbish to me...
is it because i'm old and i've seen the world?
or is it just me? :|
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meanwhile on a lighter note,
apart from all these rantings,
i'm proud at myself for completeing my first ever choir music arrangement for my secondary school choir.
i've painstakingly arranged all soprano alto parts and written them down on a paper, that i hope will go on smoothly during practice tomorrow :)
REMINDER TO SELF: i've a test on tuesday. (which i know zilch about at this point of time, and its monday tmr)
